Can we do this again...??

So lately, Matt and I have been talking about adding another baby to our family. He is ready now, I am not. Why, you might ask? I am afraid. Plain, honest, and simple. I am afraid that I will not be able to handle it. Afraid that the post-partum anxiety, that I didn't even know was a real diagnosable thing, will come back with a vengeance, but this time I will have a newborn and a toddler who both need 100% of my attention. Afraid that even if it doesn't come back, the severe sleep deprivation of having a newborn will be too much for me to handle with a toddler to take care of. The golden rule of "sleep when the baby sleeps" will not work when there are two little ones in the house who are most likely on different schedules in the beginning. I have talked to MANY women, some in different countries and cultures, and they ALL say that the first 3 months are the hardest. Having been through that, I totally agree. It takes about that long to get used to the change that a kiddo brings. To not feel like a newbie with everything that comes along. To feel normal in your new normal. That being said, I know that I can and would get through the hardest first three months of having a newborn and a toddler. I also believe that with the second baby, you don't have the shock of your life as you knew it being over. That alone will be an advantage. A friend's mom told me that "once you have a baby your life is over so you might as well have more than one." :) I also know the joy/love/wonder of watching your own flesh and blood grow and change. It is thrilling, sad, wonderful, and indescribable emotionally, and it's something that I want to do again. Can I handle it? Yes, I know and believe I can. I know that God will give me the strength that I need to face whatever comes with having two little ones. Am I ready for the challenge? I don't think yet, but I will keep you posted.